Tackling Sundays with Toddlers (or preschoolers, or newborns…) Pt 1

Sunday worship service is by far one of my favorite times of the week, and my children have many friends at church and enjoy the classes in Children’s Ministry. Despite the fact that worship is my purpose and the fellowship is refreshing to the point of overflowing – Sundays can be hard. They throw off well-curated schedules, especially if morning naps usually happen at 10am, right as church starts. And Sundays can be long. We can be out of the house from 7:30am to 6:00pm. This can test the endurance of parents and children. Here are some of the ways that we combat the exhaustion and overwhelm that we can sometimes associate with long days of service, worship, and fellowship.

Prep the Night Before

Our Saturday night prep is extensive because Afa and I are Children’s Ministry coordinators, so we have to make sure that the supplies, snacks, and games are ready and packed for each class. Even outside of Children’s Ministry, though, there is family prep that we do on Saturdays. 

On Saturday night, I prepare for Sunday breakfast, snack, and lunch. For breakfast, I usually try to plan something substantial. We are huge cereal fans at our house, but there are lot of hours between Sunday breakfast and Sunday lunch so I either make baked egg casserole or plan to make egg sandwiches in the morning – a good combination of carbs and protein so they will make it all the way to lunch without being painfully hungry. I also pack snacks and fill our water bottles to take with us to church so that I have something quick in case there is an unexpected delay before lunch. These also serve for when college students show up hungry 🙂

bananas, grapes, egg sandwich
This is lunch in the van one morning. We had service in the park, and it was very windy when we first arrived. So the kids and I sat in the van while they ate their breakfast of grapes, bananas, and egg sandwiches.

Depending on the season of life and our schedule, lunch on Sundays is sometimes the one meal we eat out during the week. Other times, it makes more sense to bring a packed lunch. If we have church at a park and we are having lunch with another family with kids, picnic lunch is far more relaxing than a restaurant. We have also been in financial situations where spending $30 on a meal is unreasonable, and then packing lunches becomes a necessity. But discussing these options and making the decisions on Saturday night can make Sunday run more smoothly. I also find it helpful to communicate with the other family on Saturday. Letting them know you are bringing lunch for a picnic sets everyone up for success, as communicating expectations almost always does.

As a side note, I highly recommend planning lunches with friends on Sundays. I can sometimes go the whole week and only see other disciples during formal meetings, which doesn’t leave a lot of time for fun fellowship, which is just as important as the intense-life-conversation type fellowship. You have already gotten the kids dressed and out the door. To the extent possible, maximize that effort you already put in and have lunch with other people.

On Saturday nights, I also set out clothes for the kids and myself. Well, I don’t physically set out my clothes, but I do decide what I’m going to wear. However, I physically set out the children’s clothes. The three and five year olds do not care what they wear, so I put out the best outfit for the weather the following day. My six year old has strong opinions about her clothes, so she helps me pick them out. I put all the clothes on the couches so that they can walk to their stack in the morning and easily dress themselves.

The final area that I prepare on Saturday night is my quiet time. It is incredibly frustrating to set aside the time to read my Bible and pray and then not be able to find the items I use to do this. I usually need my Bible, our laptop, and the book I am currently reading if there is one. I stack these in one spot on the bookshelf so that I’m not rifling through stacks looking for things I need, usually the laptop. I also prepare what I am going to read. Having everything ready and then staring at your Bible for 10 minutes because you don’t know what to read is a waste of everyone’s time. When you are collecting your quiet time items, also decide what your quiet time will be about. Here are some ideas if you need some. 

7 adults at picnic table
We have to get to church extra early to ensure that all the children’s ministry teachers have their supplies and get a pre-serivce

Getting out the door

Moms who do regular morning routines are far more experienced with this than I am. Sundays are the only days that my kids have to be up and dressed, so it is always a bit manic for us. If I’m going to lose my temper, it will be during this process and usually because we did not finish all the preparations on Saturday night; so I am trying to get them done during the morning rush. One of the most important pieces of information for my morning is the amount of time that it takes from the time I wake the kids up to the time we are actually leaving. For us, that is 45 minutes. There are days when I think we should be able to do it in 30 minutes or that I want to give them a little extra time to sleep (or give myself a little more time of silence in the morning.) But realistically, it takes 45 minutes.

If we need to leave at 7:30, I have to wake the kids at 6:45, and I need to make sure that I am awake in time to shower and have a full quiet time before 6:45. My being spiritually prepared to give to my children, to children’s ministry, and to worship will make immeasurable differences in how the whole day goes. If I’m grumpy when I wake the kids up and snappy when Afa asks me questions and meltdown on the way to church because something didn’t go right, it does not set our day up for success. I also find that the ease of our Sunday mornings is in direct correlation to how well Afa and I finished all the preparations the night before. 

I also try to be flexible if the kids make reasonable requests, understanding this is not always possible. My children love to buckle themselves in the van and sit and wait for me. This is a reasonable request, so even if they are going to be there for 15 minutes, I let them go. If Eliam doesn’t want me to comb his hair, that’s fine. If Fin wants to go to the van with no shoes on, that works. I intentionally eliminate as much conflict as possible so that we can be on our way.

Once we get in the van, Afa leads us in prayer on our way to church and we sing some songs together. There are definitely mornings when I don’t feel like doing either of these things. I am grumpy and stressed and don’t want to talk to anyone. Inevitably, they slowly but surely soften my heart so that I am ready to serve when we arrive.

Next up: How we handle arrival and being at church

mom and son

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