Breastfeeding is a very personal decision and journey, and the topic can elicit strong emotions in a variety of directions. Therefore, this post requires some disclaimers at the very beginning. 

• If you formula feed your baby, whether by necessity or by choice, feel great about your decision. There is tons of pressure to breastfeed, but there is no reason to feel guilty if you are feeding for and caring for your baby.
• If you choose to nurse without a cover, that is also a valid choice, but for many of us, that was uncomfortable in front of others.

In my experience, nursing with a cover is more successful with practice. If baby is accustomed to nursing under the blanket, it becomes a safe space that they look forward to. If you usually let baby be free, then having the cover is going to be super distracting, and fights will ensue. If you know it will be important to you to use a cover in public, make sure you use it sometimes at home too so that you both get accustomed to it. When Ana Lia was born, Afa’s parents had recently moved in with us. We had been married less than two years, and I didn’t know his parents well at all. If I was nursing anywhere except my bedroom, I used a cover with Ana Lia from the time she was born. She nursed with a cover until she was weaned at almost 3. It was part of our routine, and she would go get it herself so that we could nurse.

Finiasi was on the other end of the spectrum. I had five months of maternity leave with him, and it was only the kids and I at the house all day. I only tried to use a cover with him when we were out. Because he was so unaccustomed to it, he wouldn’t leave it on. I learned to use a combination of nursing shirts and a blanket that covered me without bothering him for when I needed to nurse in public. By that time, I was several years into nursing though, and much of it had become second nature. 

There are some accessories that made nursing easier for me. The first was a nursing cover with boning on the top. I used the same one with all three babies. I loved it because it had a little pocket in the corner I could put a small toy, and you can still make eye contact with the baby during nursing. When Ana Lia was born, we didn’t have much money, and I wasn’t sure the nursing cover was worth it if I could make a blanket work. Afa and I were sitting in the car after church one of the first weeks we went, and I needed to nurse Ana Lia before we went home. I could NOT get that blanket to stay where I needed it, and I put the whole thing over my head to cover me and her. Afa started laughing so hard. When I was done, he took the blanket and put it over his head and started twisting in all sorts of hilarious directions. To this day, he will put a blanket on his head and we both double over laughing at the ridiculousness of it. I told him there was a cover that would help, but it cost $20. He said it was more than worth it. We stopped at Target, bought one on the way home, and never looked back.

The second accessory that I used with all the kids was a boppy. I had a regular sized one that fit in the bottom of the stroller, and I used it anytime we were out. I also had a huge one that was designed for nursing twins. A friend bought it for me from a second hand store when I tandem nursed Ana Lia and Eliam. It worked like a shelf to hold the baby, and we were both fully supported with very little effort from me. I loved it so much.  Many women who nurse successfully without one, but I loved the boppy because it freed my hands. I could use my phone if the baby was propped on up securely with the boppy. They also helped with some of the back pain I associated with nursing. I didn’t have to strain as much to hold up the baby’s weight and get everyone in the right positions. 

The last accessory I found helpful for nursing was nursing clothes. Nursing bras and nursing tanks were an essential part of my wardrobe for years. I had a few comfortable nursing bras that I wore around the house, and I always made sure I had a really good one with underwire so that I could look decent when I wanted to. Compulsory disclaimer: there is some evidence that underwire can negatively impact your supply; I don’t recommend them for daily usage. Cake Maternity is my favorite because they have all their styles in large sizes. They are expensive though; so I only owned one at a time and did not wear it every day.

It was only with Fin that I bought actual outer nursing clothes, but I highly recommend them. Latched Mama is my favorite. Because their clothes are more expensive, you can sign up for the emails while you’re pregnant so you can hit one of the sales; or you can use a B/S/T group on Facebook. There are some really good ones for LM. Nursing clothes helped me nurse Fin modestly without a cover because that’s what they are designed for. It also helped me feel “put together.” As a mom with a newborn and two toddlers, showering sometimes felt like a luxury, and I rarely felt soignée. Having practical clothes that fit and were pretty colors really helped. 

Now that I was practiced and accessorized, how did it actually work nursing during meetings of the body?

• When I nursed during service, I tried to get everything done at the same time – diaper change, potty, and nursing all in one. I am very comfortable sitting on the floor, so I would find a place in the back of service and set up a whole station. I would have the stroller and diaper bag beside me, a blanket for me to sit on and let the baby roll around on, and my boppy and cover ready. I would nurse the baby on both sides, wait a few minutes, give them an opportunity to potty (EC), change the diaper (and clothes, if necessary), then pack all the things back and return to my seat.
  • My husband and I are the children’s ministry coordinators, and adults who were not teachers were not allowed in the classrooms, except for nursing mothers who were always allowed in the baby classroom to nurse. If you feel like sitting in the back is still too public, ask if there is a more private area you can nurse in.
• I tried to time the nursing so that I could hold and bounce the baby during the songs, then nurse and let the baby nap during the sermon so I could hear more of it. Babies don’t always eat on your schedule though, so sometimes you just have to go with it.
• Teach three or four people you trust to hold the baby so that you can have a few minutes to focus on worship or the sermon. Friends are happy to help, but they will need some instructions and patience from you while they are learning. If it’s important to you that the baby not be passed around, include that in the instructions. 
  • It’s important to remember that Western cultures teach us that mothers are supposed to be able to do everything alone – or with only your partner. For most of human history, people lived in tribes and there was help all around. Build your tribe, especially at church. It will take some training because most of us have not been taught to be part of a tribe. Teach yourself too. You don’t have to be the one caring for your baby 24 hours a day. In fact a little time away will make the time with them even sweeter; it doesn’t even have to be long – just ten minutes so you can focus on Communion has the power to change your whole outlook.
• Give yourself a lot of grace about getting to church. I am someone who was raised to believe that early is on time, on time is late, and late is dead. But, there were mornings when I would be up super early, organize everything, be ready to go and Ana Lia would puke down my clothes and blow out her diaper at the same time. It happens. 
  • However, don’t let the baby become an excuse not to try. You miss fellowship and worship by being consistently late, but if you have done everything you can to prepare and then you are late, remember Isaiah 40:11.

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

Our nursing journey was wonderful. While there were certainly challenges, we worked through each of them as they came up. Ask for help when you need it; everyone needs it. And when something isn’t working, look for solutions. There’s usually one hiding not too far away.