When Ana Lia was about a month old, I was reading an article entitled something like “10 ways to save money on diapers” because, well, I had a one month old baby. There were some excellent suggestions including buying in bulk and joining loyalty clubs to build points. The final one was a throw away sentence that said “You could be like these crazy people and never use diapers at all” with a link to a story about elimination communication (EC). I had a very hard time believing there was a way not to use diapers, so naturally I had to investigate “these crazy people.” And so began our EC journey.

The premise behind EC is that babies tell us that they need to potty in the same way that they tell us they need eat or they need to sleep. However, in Western cultures, we are trained to ignore potty signals and acknowledge all the other ones. I was so intrigued by the premise that I started reading every article I could find on, both encouraging and critical of the practice. Based on all the information I read, I knew it would fit well into our parenting style and family life. I found the Go Diaper Free website and purchased the book, which is an excellent resource. It gave me a step by step guide on teaching my new baby to eliminate in a receptacle other than a diaper.

My first instinct in any large change is to go in 100%. Thankfully, Afa tempers my more extreme decisions, so despite my best efforts, we didn’t throw away all our diapers immediately. In fact, we did part time EC with cloth back ups at home and only used disposables while we were out of the house until Ana Lia was about 17 months old. Our families had given us several cases of disposable diapers, and a friend from church gave me her whole stash of cloth diapers. We were in a very tight financial place, so any night that we could, Afa and I took turns washing the cloth diapers in the bathtub. Because we were doing EC and Ana Lia had a very predictable poop schedule, I caught most of her poops and good portion of her pees. The fact that one of us had to handwash the diapers for our misses was an extra incentive to be on top of pottying. It worked out great for us. Ana Lia was day and night trained at 19 months, and we were thrilled. In total we only spent about $75 on diapers for her due to everyone’s generosity and our EC efforts. (An average family using disposable diapers will spend about $1,000 on diapers per child, but that number varies drastically based on brand and use.)

When Eliam was in prime EC time (6-12 months), we were in the middle of some significant transitions as a family. We moved in with some incredible friends for a few months before then moving from Denver to San Francisco. Afa had a new job where he worked night shifts and had a 90 minute commute each way. I was suffering with lagging postpartum depression. EC moved to the bottom of the list and never made its way back to the top. At the time, it was the best decision for our family because I couldn’t handle any additional responsibilities, but there are longer term consequences that we now live with. Eliam is 2.5 and has no interest in the potty or in using it. Every time we have to buy a new case of diapers, I return to my frustration that I didn’t stick it out with EC when it mattered. In these moments, I have to remember to extend myself a little grace and know that there are times when our best is all we can do.

When Fin was born, I again waited about 2 months to start his EC practice. Again, there are times where we do our best, and I knew that EC with my newborn and two toddlers was going to be more stressful than helpful. However, around the two month mark, we got into a rhythm. I also had the incredible gift of a 20 week maternity leave, so I could take my time to learning his patterns. He could hold his head up, so I could hold him on our small potty. Four months in, the potty has become part of the routine. We are using only disposables at this point due to the generosity of our friends and family. When we have to purchase our own diapers, we may switch to cloth. But incorporating EC into our lives is sure to save us money in the long term as he will be familiar with the potty and its purpose.

There are actually a variety of benefits to EC, including kids learning to be aware of themselves and their needs earlier, and when I am on my EC game, we have FAR fewer diaper blow outs. It provides an additional avenue of communication between parents and children, and honestly, it can be a lot of fun. However, I work hard to be as frugal as I can with our money, so if it was cheaper to traditionally diaper, I would probably choose that despite the many other benefits. However, the money that we save in addition to everything else, makes it an exciting alternative to traditional diapering, at least for us, at least for right now.