Many thanks to Krista Ochieng for sharing her story. She originally wrote this post on June 10, 2018.

A depressed person will very rarely reach out in the midst of their depression. 

I am a depressed person.

The deaths that have happened this last week have deeply saddened me. Worldwide, an unnumbered amount of people suicide daily. It’s taken the deaths of 2 famous and loved individuals (in 1 week) to highlight this topic, and I’ve got to join the discussion. Stick with me…

I’ve struggled with an unexplainable, and paralysing sadness as long as I can remember. I’m talking from about the age of 8! It took many years before I could confront that I was depressed. Why? Because I was terrified of what people would think of me. I was afraid that I would be rejected, judged, looked down upon, etc. To a degree that does happen, and I’ve had to get okay with that. Once I decided to be open and get help, it took a few more years before someone took me seriously.

I had a relatively easy and happy (mentally, physically, spiritually, etc) first pregnancy. A few weeks after giving birth to my daughter, I was hit with a very serious, hard and fast postpartum depression (depression after giving birth). On the day that was the darkest and scariest, if someone else didn’t reach out *for* me, I don’t know what would of happened. 

Of course there have been very challenging periods in life that haven’t helped, especially if I was going through a depressing time. But over the last few years, I can genuinely say there is nothing “wrong” with my life. There is nothing to be sad or depressed about. However, I still go through periods of deep depression, that often come out of nowhere. It’s those times that I need friends. I need people to text or call even if I don’t answer or respond. I need friends to help me get out of the house. It’s those times, my mouth is wired shut and I can NOT ask for the help and love that I desperately need. During those times, I can hardly lift a fork to my mouth, let alone return a text. 

Though it’s not true, I feel like no one cares. I feel like someone will create a reason why I’m depressed, and therefore shouldn’t be. I can’t deal with someone telling me to just “snap out of it” etc. It’s usually not until I come out of that cave that I can appreciate the calls, and texts. And believe me, whether I was able to respond or not, they meant the world to me. 

So what’s the point of all this? 

Depression does not define me. It is not my everyday, all the time. Like most others, I live in very happy and beautiful moments. Depression is however, a part of me. A part that I wish wasn’t there, but I’ve had to learn to make my peace with it. My hope in sharing this with you is that it can help you understand and have compassion. Just as we would have compassion on someone with a life threatening disease, depression, if not ministered to correctly, can be life threatening. 

If you’re depressed, I get you. Things might be really bad right now, better days will come, and there is an army of people that you matter to! There have been days, even as a Christian, where death seemed better than life. I have been on anti-depressants, and they were a life saver for me. I have been through counselling. That was really helpful. Don’t be too ashamed or embarrassed to get whatever help you need. 

If you’re a friend, family member, etc. to someone who is depressed… please reach out to them! If someone you love has pulled back, seems sad out of the blue, please reach out to them! If someone you know has suddenly disappeared, please reach out them! 

Please don’t judge them. Please don’t give them reasons as to why they are depressed, or shouldn’t be. Don’t tell them to “snap out of it.” Believe me, if they could, they would! If I could choose for depression to not be apart of my life, believe me I would! When someone says they are depressed take them very seriously. Be their advocate! 

What’s the bottom line?

Your life is worth living!

If a loved one is depressed, don’t wait for them to come to you, please go to them. 

Thanks for reading through this. And thank you for sticking by your loved ones 

“What a person desires is unfailing love…” Proverbs 19:22

“For this reason Jesus had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God…” Hebrews 2:17 Jesus has been there, he gets it 

***If you think this might help someone, feel free to share!