Fin’s birth story starts more than seven weeks before he actually arrived. This time around, I was familiar with Braxton Hicks contractions and regular contractions. I knew what to do to make the B-H ones go away, so when I started feeling contractions regularly one Wednesday afternoon, I drank about half a gallon of water and laid down for a while. They kept coming so I got up and started walking and then took a warm shower. The contractions didn’t lessen, so I called the doctor, who suggested I come to the hospital. Afa was still at work, and I had to go pick up the other two kids from preschool. He called his family, who were thankfully available to watch the kids for the evening, and started to his commute home. I got the kids settled and waited at the train station for Afa, as the contractions got stronger and closer, very concerning at 32 weeks. I had to get out a walk around because they were strong, and a very kind older woman came up because she heard me groaning and said she recognized that as the sounds of labor immediately. She offered to take me to a hospital, and I let her know that I was on my way as soon as my husband arrived. His train got there, after what felt like an eternity, and we were soon checked in and strapped up to monitors at the hospital.

The nurse was extremely supportive and understanding. She explained to me that they were going to do everything they could to stop my labor, but if they couldn’t stop it, as soon as the baby was born, we would both have to be transferred to a different hospital because the NICU at that hospital was not equipped for babies 32 weeks and earlier. Afa and I prayed together again, and I knew that whatever happened was going to be the will of God. While she was asking me the check in questions, I was so distracted with contractions, I couldn’t even remember Ana Lia’s birthday correctly…Afa was sitting there with the right answer 🙂 After having contractions steadily every ten minutes for a few hours, they suddenly started coming every two minutes and they were so strong I couldn’t speak through them. The nurse quickly came in and explained that they were going to give me a shot to stop the labor. If it was going to work, they would know within ten minutes. She gave me the shot, and the contractions stopped almost immediately. It went from increasing chaos to complete calm in the span of 60 seconds. I’m so grateful for modern medicine. So, in my mind, that’s the day labor started.

Two days later, the same thing happened, and I went to the hospital, and got the shot for a second time. Two days later, I tried to go to church, but we had to leave halfway through because the contractions were starting again. We went home to rest, and they went away, but at 33 weeks, we were getting ready for the baby to come any day. Our church marriage retreat was three weeks later. I ended up in the hospital again with contractions the day we were supposed to leave, so labor again interrupted a marriage retreat (but that’s another story!)

After this, I was restricted in my activity, and like the beginning of pregnancy, Afa took over almost all of the household responsibilities. I couldn’t carry the kids or the laundry or stand long enough to do the dishes. And everything became very real. As we passed the 37 and 38 week marks, I was having contractions nearly every day, and they always went away. And then 39 and 40 weeks came and went. The anticipation, which had been building for months, was becoming unbearable. The day after he was due I started having contractions that seemed different. They were stronger, and I felt the NEED to walk. I started walking around our block. One, two, three, four times. Afa and the kids joined me, and then went back in the house, but I just had to keep walking. And the contractions were getting stronger and stronger and about six minutes apart. I knew this was it. We went inside, got all the kids’ food ready for the next few days, and then let my mother in law know that we were probably going to the hospital to have the baby tonight. So, you can imagine my disappointment when the contractions faded away, and I woke up the next morning with no labor and no baby. During this time, the doctor and I had been discussing an induction because there were several indicators that the baby would be large, so we scheduled an induction for four days after my due date.

We were supposed to be at the hospital at 5am the morning of my induction, but 8pm the night before, I noticed that I hadn’t felt the baby move in a while, which was extremely unusual. He was super active, and I could feel him move all the time. I got up and walked around a little. I drank some orange juice, walked some more, and then drank some more. I sang to him and tried to shift him around – and there was nothing. After two hours of trying to get him to move and feeling nothing, I told Afa we needed to go to the hospital, even though it was only about 8 hours before our scheduled induction. On the drive, the baby still wasn’t moving, and I lost all control of my thoughts. I was crying, sure that the baby had passed away, and that I had waited too long to have him. When we got to the hospital, again the nurses were wonderful, told me that it was completely fine to cry, and started looking for his heartbeat as soon as we arrived. It took them so long to find it, but eventually they did. And he sounded great, and they sent us home to get some rest before the next morning. We didn’t want to go in and wake the kids up, which would make it harder for my mother in law, so we rented a hotel room, which was nice to have the night before the baby came.

We got up at 4, headed to Denny’s for a breakfast date, and then arrived at the hospital right on time. It was a few hours before they got our induction started due to an emergency with another pregnancy, although both mama and baby in that emergency ended up fine. Around 7:45 they had my Pitocin started, and Afa and I were happily watching a Kids Baking Championship marathon. I had explained to the nurses that during Eliam’s birth everything sped up once they broke my bag of waters, so they asked my OB to come during her lunch hour and do that. On a side note, it was wonderful to have nurses who listened to my previous experiences and included that in my care – this was not my experience at during either of my other births. Although I had been having some contractions, as happened with Eliam, they heated up after my water broke. At this point, Afa and I discussed whether it was the right time for an epidural and decided that it was. Once I had the Pitocin and epidural going, it was really just time to enjoy more Kids Baking Championship (we got to see the season from beginning to end in the labor room) and wait for Fin to be ready. Now, Eliam had come in literally a push and a half, so I was expecting Fin to show up in a flash when he decided it was time.

My OB was at her office about 20 minutes away, so as soon as I thought we were getting close, I let the nurses know and they called her to come. Unfortunately, she got stuck behind an accident, and it took her a long time to get there. I went from 7cm to ready before she arrived. The nurse kept telling me to relax and “blow the candles out” to keep the baby from coming. The doctor walked in and the nurses were getting her dressed as she walked, just like you see in movies! She got ready and told me to push whenever the next contraction came. I waited, felt the contraction and pushed with everything I had, expecting Fin to just show up…but nothing happened. Okay, I thought, maybe it will take two or three. That’s not a problem. So I pushed again. And pushed again. And pushed again.

At some point, the doctor asked me to put an oxygen mask on, which smelled terrible and kept getting caught in my glasses. I logically kept trying to take it off, at which point, I was kindly requested to put it back on. I also threw up at some point in the middle of everything. Afa was the most solid support, holding my hand, rubbing my shoulders, and encouraging me all the way through. After pushing as hard as I possibly could through two or three contractions, I remember saying “I can’t do this,” and feeling defeated. The doctor told me “Tromila, you have to do this. It’s the only way the baby comes.” That refocused me, and I started pushing again, until Fin made his LONG awaited debut. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so relieved that something was over. They immediately put him on my chest to nurse while the placenta came, and the doctor stitched my tears. He was absolutely beautiful and worth all the work and the waiting a hundred times over. They let his cord pulse for about five minutes and then let Afa cut it. Afa took some pictures of me in the hour after his birth, and it’s hard to describe both the elation and the exhaustion in my expressions in those photos.

Fin was almost nine pounds, sunny side up, and tangled in his cord, which is why his birth was so much harder than the others. The cord is probably why my labor had stopped a few nights before when it seemed like it was the time. I am so grateful for my nurses who listened to me and my obstetrician who walked me through one of the greatest challenges I have faced. I am grateful for my husband, who was such an amazing support that multiple nurses complimented him over our stay at the hospital. I’m so grateful to God for all He taught me, particularly through my most challenging pregnancy and most challenging birth. And I’m more grateful for my beautiful baby boy than I can possibly put into words.