Stars: ★★★★★ (Study This Book)

Premise

This book examines what an individual’s life and the rest of world might look like if Christians gave up their right to be offended – about anything. He discusses the fact that the concept of “righteous anger” for humans is not found in Scripture and delves into the verses that are often used to justify our anger. He provides example after example of stories, situations, and possibilities when choosing to be like Jesus means we have to give up our anger entirely, in exchange for a peace that passes all understanding.

I have always believed that a certain amount of anger was allowed, but I loved the challenge that it is my job to feel my anger, process it, and let it go. Holding onto serves no one in the long term, including myself.

Loved

1. “Anger and rest are always at odds. You cannot have both at once.”
   While this concept seems almost obvious when I type the words out, I’ve never put the concepts together quite like that. However, when I consider how anger works in my own life, the truth of the statement becomes clear. When I’m angry about a conversation or something that someone else did to me, I tend to ruminate on it. I think of all the would’ve, should’ve, could’ves of the conversation. It keep my mind spinning on a hamster wheel. This is the opposite of rest. Releasing the anger allows our hearts to be completely at rest.

2. Action and anger are often inversely related.
   One of my favorite chapters was the one on injustice. I could hear the somewhat disingenuous response to this book when describing it to others, “Does that mean we have to just pretend everything is okay when it’s not??” This chapter walks through how important it is to take action against injustice, to stand up for those who need it, and call out the things that are actually wrong in the world. It also describes how the ones who act angriest about the injustices are also the least likely to do anything about them.
   
   We need to take all the actions that the Bible calls us to take, all the actions we see Jesus take for the aliens, the orphans, and the widows. The only difference is that we need to take on these injustices with the motivation of love, not the motivation of anger.

3. Giving up our right to anger is embracing radical humility.
   Pride and humility are two states that I have spent much of the last year considering. What does pride do to the way that I think? What does humility look like in specific conversations? What does humility look like at work? How does pride keep me from growing in my own life?
   
   I have recently defined pride as the belief that I am right without accepting other perspectives. This belief can carry over to the belief that I am so right that I can be offended someone suggested that I wasn’t or that I am so right I am shocked that someone would act contrary to my personal belief. Humility is understanding that I can be wrong about anything and being willing to engage that possibility in a variety of ways.

Didn’t Love

Based solely on the title, I would never have picked up this book. I think my mind translated “Unoffendable” to “Don’t Offend Other People.” As someone who struggles with people pleasing, the last book I needed was instructions on how to be quieter, smaller, less offensive. However, a good friend recommended it, and I’m willing to try almost any recommendation. I’m so glad I did because this book gave me such an incredible perspective shift.

Lessons Learned

• Jesus wasn’t shocked by sin. He wasn’t driven away by sin. Pearl-clutching was the opposite of His response. I can choose to simply love people no matter my opinion of their personal choices. I can simply choose not to be shocked or surprised but simply to love the way Jesus loved.
• My response to conversations is my own responsibility. I can walk away from a tough conversation with the thought, “wow, they must be having a really bad day,” and then go on about my life. Or can walk away from a tough conversation with hours of deliberating and stewing anger. It is my choice. And it is not someone else’s fault if I choose to hold that anger.