Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

James 5:16

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Proverbs 28:13

These three verses are only a sample of the places in which the Bible discusses the importance of confession of sins. One of the remarkable aspects of the Bible is that obedience often leads to better outcomes in our lives in a multitude of unexpected ways. It is important to find a few close, trusted friends with whom we can be completely open about all the aspects of our lives. 

Running

For me, it is important to run 4-5 times each week. Barring injury or illness, I need to run regularly because it helps with my anxiety and anger. It helps me focus through the day, and I am far more patient with the kids. While there have been serious reasons that I have had to take a break from running including Covid in 2020 and gallbladder removal surgery, there have been other times when I stopped running simply because I didn’t feel the motivation to get myself out the door. Anytime that I go multiple weeks in a row without running, I can sense my anxiety and irritation levels slowly increasing. 

This can be a harder one for me to confess to people because it seems trivial and because it doesn’t appear to be sinful at first. But James 4:17 says when we do not do the good we ought to do, that is sin. For me, running or any kind of exercise is the good I ought to do. Therefore, I need to confess when I develop a pattern of consistently choosing not to.

In one of my lulls, I had chosen not to go running for nearly three weeks. I began to feel the effects on my mental health, but I couldn’t make myself leave the house. Sometimes I got all my workout clothes on, laced up my running shoes, and then sat on the couch playing on my phone instead of going running. When I realized the rut I had fallen into, I messaged one of my close friends to whom I regularly confess my sin, and let her know my struggle over the previous weeks.

I then immediately realized the benefits of walking in the light. My friend often doesn’t respond to these messages; she simply prays for me. The next morning, as soon as I got up, I got ready and went for a run. Confession doesn’t need to lead to a rebuke in order to lead to repentance. Just the act of obedience in confession guided me to repentance, and I started back on my regular running schedule, much to my entire family’s benefit.

Crochet

My heart warms every time I remember this story. In many areas, Afa and I are aligned financially, but when it comes to discretionary spending, we tend to use our money in very different ways. The kids and I had started learning handicrafts for school, and I wanted to learn to crochet so that I could teach them. I had tried some YouTube videos, but I wasn’t picking it up, and the crochet patterns were gibberish to me. I found a monthly subscription in which the company sends you the yarn, the pattern, and video instructions for 3 blocks each month. At the end of the year, you have crocheted a stitch sampler quilt. I was overjoyed when I found it because I knew that I could learn if I had step-by-step instructions.

I asked Afa if I could get this subscription for the next year, and he told me no because we didn’t have the extra money for that at the time. I was devastated. While he was right, I still wanted that monthly subscription, and I was upset about it for days. I messaged my friend again to confess my anger, sadness, and disappointment. She texted me some applicable Scriptures and helped me find a righteous response.

A few months later, my family was going through a very hard time, and she asked me for my mailing address. I thought she was going to send me a card, but a whole package ended up on my doorstep. As a gift, she had ordered me a crochet surprise care package. I was honestly overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Giving gifts is not Afa’s strength, which I have accepted as part of our marriage. So receiving a gift that was so personal to me filled my love cup a hundred times over. And I am not saying that this is a normal consequence of being open, but the only reason that my friend knew this was something I loved was because I got open with her about my sin.

Writer’s Block

Writing is an activity that I love. It helps me process circumstances in my life, and I can integrate the different areas of learning in my life by writing about them. Much like running, writing is integral to my mental and spiritual health. It works almost like a guided journal for me. At one point, I hadn’t been able to write in weeks. I would open my laptop and stare at the blank document. I had ideas for topics to write about, but I had no motivation to actually get the words out. It happened while I was working and while I was writing for fun. I felt blocked.

After a particularly challenging week, when other situations were swirling around me and writing would usually help me sort through them, I opened up to a friend about how much I was struggling with writing – a task I usually enjoyed so much. She called me the next day, and we prayed through multiple situations, including my writer’s block (for lack of a better phrase.) The very next day, I was able to sit down and write several blog posts, including this one. Our prayers had been effective in pulling me out of the abyss I had let myself drift in for weeks.

Connection

In addition to all the benefits I have seen in my own life, confession of sin to one another allows friendship and connection to blossom. There are so many times I have confessed my sin to close friends, expecting them to be shocked or appalled at my dark thoughts. Overwhelmingly, I have received the response: “Yeah, I’ve been there too. Here are the Scriptures that helped me.” Our friendship was even stronger, and I was able to find my way to repentance using the Bible and prayer. There are so many areas that we can relate to one another and support one another if we speak up, walking in the light.

As I have said, it is important to find a few close, trusted friends with whom to be open. I don’t necessarily think it is wise to share all your stuff with all the people. Find people who will love you through it but not allow you to stay in it, who will give you Scriptures and support, who will pray with you and for you until you can pray by yourself again. Walking in the light with these friends will bring you all the benefits the Bible promises.