Stars: ★★★★★ (Study This Book)

Premise

This book examines the way that we can help our child see themselves and see other people. There are some places where “diversity” has become a word that’s derided on it’s face, but providing our children access to diverse people, thoughts, and experiences enriches their educations and their lives. If they only know the people who look, think, and live the way they do, they will misunderstand a majority of others on this Earth. The author walks through how to cultivate these windows into the lives of people different than we are. She also explains the necessity of providing our children mirrors so that they see themselves in books, art, and life.

Loved

1. The Vulnerability of the Anecdotes
   The author shares stories of raising her children with transparency and vulnerability. She relays accounts about choosing to love her natural hair and an experience in which the hand drier does not work in a public bathroom. These stories are ones that many people would relegate to the recesses of memory, but the author publicizes them so that we may learn how better to raise our own children.
   
   She allows the reader a door into her life, including the messy parts, and this makes the book all the more real and applicable.
   

2. The Practical Applications
   Curating A Library – “A home library of mirrors and windows is a tool of resistance.” This concept was enlightening to me – the idea that I could raise my children to see the world differently by intentionally bringing a variety of books into our home. I could allow them glimpses into the daily lives of children who were completely different from them, but also the same in many ways.
   
   Family Cookbook – Anyone who knows me well knows that cooking is one of my greatest weaknesses. There are about 3 things I make well, and if you come to my house for dinner, you are likely to be served one of these. Because of this, the idea of writing a family cookbook was intimidating. However, further contemplation showed me the immense benefits that could come from the endeavor. There are so many connections to my mother-in-law (and hence my husband’s Tongan culture) through her cooking. When my children think of Grandma, they often think of her Tongan pies or banana cakes. There are recipes from Tennessee that will always remind me of home. Even though the project seems daunting, it is one that I plan to slowly implement, even if we are only adding a few recipes a year at first.
   
   Art around the home – There were so many ways that this book highlighted my areas of weakness but in encouraging ways that provided me avenues to strengthen them. Most walls in my house are completely bare. Interior decorating is a world as foreign to me as cooking often is. Understanding that art is another vehicle with which to provide my children mirrors and windows is an important realization going forward.
   

3. Mirrors and Windows
   This is one of the most important premises of the book, but it is a reminder that our children need both. Neither will ever be sufficient on its own. Our children need opportunities to see the worlds that other people inhabit. I love how the author explains that simply discussing holidays from other cultures is insufficient because it adds a sense of exoticism to these places. We need to see that people from other countries, cultures, and religions have daily experiences the same way that we do.
   
   One of the most important reminders for me was the priority that I should place on providing mirrors for my children. These mirrors should include views of their Tongan heritage and the Southern heritage, but there are opportunities beyond that to provide mirrors as well. Before this, I had never considered reading my daughter books about children with dyslexia, but for her, that’s a mirror. We can read books about immigrant families and children with curly hair. There are so many characteristics of my children that I can provide mirrors for.
   

Didn’t Love

There are so many facets of this book to love, so it is hard to find something I didn’t. But I definitely had to choose a few ways that I could make improvements around my home instead of being overwhelmed with all the potential areas that I needed to fix. The idea of world schooling, traveling, adding art, poetry, and books all at once felt overwhelming and impossible at times. However, I chose two areas to focus on, at least based on this first read: books as mirrors and starting our family cookbook. I can read it again later knowing there are many other areas to improve.

Lessons Learned

• This book challenges my minimalism, which is good. It’s so ingrained in me to have as few possessions as possible that looking at it from a different perspective is an excellent exercise. We get almost all our books from the library. If I have to purchase a book for school, I almost always donate it as soon as we are done with it. The idea of buying books and keeping them so that the children can peruse them at will stretches my current understanding of running our home. Even keeping our walls bare is part of the minimalism that pervades our home. It’s not that there is anything inherently wrong with keeping few possessions, but this book encouraged me to consider that there could be benefits to also doing things differently.
• I can maintain all the flexibility I love while ensuring that my kids still have a well rounded education. I actually used the author’s Amazing Africa! Heritage Pack as our geography curriculum for the year despite the fact that geography was covered differently in the curriculum I originally purchased. Each suggestion that she made is customizable to the individual family. Nothing needs to be implemented in a cookie cutter copy of the way that she describes. We can live our lives authentic to who we are while still learning new ways to provide mirrors and windows to our children.