Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

1 Peter 4:8-10

I love to have people in my home: eating, playing games, talking. Because we went over a year without being able to do so, I especially cherish these times now. I look forward to them and enjoy the evenings all the more. My particular brand of hospitality is low key, much like the rest of my life. I don’t do many decorations, and my presentation skills need a revamp. When you walk into my house, I’ll show you where the refrigerator and coffee maker are; then you are welcome to use them as though it were your own home. I want people to feel relaxed and comfortable while they are here.

My dear friend Ruth has a completely different style of hospitality, and it’s one that I want to learn from. When we walk into Ruth’s house, the first thing she offers are big hugs. She is always so happy to see us. The second thing she offers is drinks and seats to make sure everyone is comfortable. The whole time we are there, she takes care of every whim that someone mentions, especially the children. She serves wholeheartedly, expressing her love with every dish served and drink offered.

One of the most amazing aspects of Ruth’s hospitality is the way that she welcomes my children into her home. She has a beautifully decorated home, and most of the time beautiful homes and children do not mix well. But Ruth is one of those rare people who want my children to come over. If I show up without them, she wants to know where they are. There have been many times that people have either told me that I cannot bring the kids somewhere (which often means I cannot go myself) or they show visible disappointment and irritation that the children are with me (where else are they going to be?) But Ruth is the exact opposite. She loves my children to come and showers them with love the entire time they are at her house. 

And having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.

1 Timothy 5:10

Another incredible aspect of her hospitality is that she remembers people’s preferences, even months between visits. When we went to her house for our most recent visit, she sent her son out to buy marshmallows because she remembered my children love marshmallows on the waffles she always makes for them. When it came time to have coffee after the meal, she remembered that my mother-in-law does not drink coffee but prefers tea. Without even asking for it, Ruth had a cup of tea ready for Grandma at the end of the meal. It had been about nine months since my mother-in-law had been to Ruth’s house, and I cannot imagine how many people Ruth had hosted between those visits, yet she remembered something so small about how to serve her guests.

I also love that when I visit her, there is no time limit on how long I should stay. In fact, when I drive there, I plan to stay for hours, the entire evening if possible because Ruth loves to spend time with people, serving the entire time. One time, I had a Zoom meeting that conflicted with the time I was hanging out with Ruth. I knew that she preferred I stayed at her house, with all my kids, and did the meeting there instead of leaving early. When time came, I asked if that was okay, and she started playing with the kids so that I could focus on the meeting. When people come to my house, after a few hours, I’m usually ready for them to head on out, but Ruth’s heart and home are so open that she wants us there for as long as we can stay.

Ruth is this generous and open with her open no matter who is visiting. My parents flew to California for a week, and as soon as I let Ruth know they were coming she asked if I could bring them to her house for dinner. Of course, I am always up for an invitation to her house, and my parents had a wonderful time feeling loved and served, the same way everyone else does. Particularly special is the way that my mother-in-law feels around Ruth. Afa’s mom can be nervous about spending time with people outside the family because the language barrier can make communication difficult, but she is always ready and excited to go to Ruth’s house. She and Ruth have many things in common, and my mother-in-law is working, serving, and washing dishes wherever she goes. But she says that at Ruth’s house, she gets treated like a queen. Their relationship is such a treasure to me.

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement;if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Romans 12:6-8

My hospitality does not have to look exactly like Ruth’s, which I’m thankful for because I’m not sure I would ever achieve that. But I can find the characteristics that are most meaningful to me as a visitor in her home and translate that into my home. As people walk in, I can wholeheartedly welcome them and ensure they are comfortable. I can always make sure there is a space for the kids so that they do not feel like a burden. I can make a mental note (and perhaps a digital note these days of a less-then-stellar memory) of people’s preferences so that I can meet their needs when they come, and I can open my home and make them welcome no matter who arrives. 

These attributes will have their own flavor, but I look forward to mastering them and ensuring that my house is an open door of hospitality.